Funny Safety Spiel for Car

A mock-serious safety announcement that feels straight out of a Disney pre-show—until it takes a sharp turn into modern traffic reality. This crowd-pleasing script hits all the familiar beats (seatbelts, hands inside, supervise children) while escalating into absurd warnings about rogue wildlife, aggressive merging, and conditions that may be aggravated by stop-and-go chaos and road-rage theatrics. Equal parts official-sounding and hilariously unhinged, it’s a high-energy opener that builds anticipation, gets laughs every time, and makes even the most routine ride feel like an attraction.